After the Fire
by Fosterchild
Summary: Steve needs some comfort...he needs to shut off his mind after the rumble...Chapter 4 is up...
1. Chapter 1

_**After the Fire**_

I don't own The Outsiders or the lyrics….they belong to Susie and Van Morrison, respectively….

_Take away my trouble…take away my grief…_

One ambulance carted Dally's dead body away and another took Ponyboy's passed out one to the hospital with Darry and Soda in tow. Two-Bit and I just stood there not knowing what to do.

This had to be the most awful night I have ever had. How could we have lost two of our gang in one night? Two guys we had grown up with who were like brothers to us? And now Ponyboy, after having already put us all through the ringer running away last week with Johnny, was passing out in the street and who knows what was wrong with him?

"Come on, Steve;" Two-Bit said quietly as he put his hand on my shoulder, leading me away from this scene.

We walked back to Soda's without a word. Two-Bit grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed me one. We both sat on the couch and drank them slowly, not saying a word, both of us hoping to numb this pain.

I stood up finally and looked at Two-Bit who had his head lying on the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling. "I'm gonna go, man."

He looked up at me. "Where you goin?"

"I just have have to go. I just…I can't be here right now."

He just nodded slowly, understanding. "Awright. Well, be careful out there."

I closed the door behind me pausing before I walked down the steps of my friends' house. Where was I going? I didn't want to go home. The old man and me were avoiding each other lately and that made life bearable but if he was in a bad mood, well, I just couldn't deal with that tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Take away my heartache in the night like a thief….**_

I just walked. My whole body hurt from the rumble but somehow it didn't matter anymore. The rumble didn't matter. What we thought we were fighting for didn't matter. Everything would still go on the same way but nothing would ever be the same again. Not for any of us.

How could I ever get that vision out of my head of Dally getting shot? His body being thrown back from the force of the bullets, him trying to crawl to us, to get to the safety of us, only to drop and die right there in front of us? How do you get that out of your mind?

And Johnny. I didn't even get to go see him in the hospital. Maybe I'm better off that I didn't. I'd hate to remember him that way. At least I can remember him walking around like a regular kid not lying in a hospital hooked up to machines or however he was in there and knowing he'd never walk again. At least I won't ever remember him like I'll always remember Dally now, so desperate that he didn't care if he lived or died.

None of this even seems real to me. In my head I keep thinking "Dally's dead. Johnny's dead;" but it doesn't seem real.

Now Pony. The kid and I never really got along but he's my best friend's brother. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him if for nothing else than the fact that Soda couldn't take it and I don't want to see Soda in that kind of agony ever again as long as I live. It's enough they lost both their parents and I had to watch Soda helplessly while he went through that. It sucks not being able to do a damn thing for someone you care so much about when they're hurting like that.

Dammit all to hell. I hate this! I'm not a deep thinker. I take things as they come. Now I can't stop thinking. I'm pissed off at Dally. I always thought he was selfish but I never thought he was weak until tonight. And after everything Johnny put up with he didn't deserve to die even if it was for a good cause. Even if maybe it's some kind of grand retribution for him killing that soc. He didn't mean to. Dammit!

I walked and I realized how filthy I was. It was raining during the rumble and I was all muddy and bloody. I remembered I had one of my D-X shirts at the station so I went by there. I used my key to get in and went into our little bathroom and cleaned myself up a bit and put on my clean shirt.

I had finished up a car that afternoon but left before I took it for a test drive because I was in a hurry to get to Soda's before the rumble. Driving seemed like a better idea to me than walking anymore so I grabbed the keys off the hook, locked up and went out to where the car was. I started it and it hummed. I smiled a little. I have something going for me. I made a left out of the station lot and headed toward the one place I knew I'd find some comfort.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I'm running to her like a river's song**_

I parked a block away and walked to Evie's house. It was kind of late. Her dad worked nights and her mom would be asleep but I knew she'd still be up. I walked around the back of the house to her window and tapped a couple times until she opened her curtain and then the window.

"Hey, honey. What are you doing here so late?"

I gave her a weak smile. "Can you sneak out? I got a car down the street."

"Give me five minutes."

I nodded and made my way back to the corner to wait for her. I barely had time to light a cigarette when Evie was coming down the street toward me.

I didn't say anything right away. I just opened the passenger door and let her in then got in myself and started the car. I could feel her looking at me but I was too afraid to open my mouth for fear that I would lose it. We drove to the lake and I guided the car to a little secluded spot her and I knew well. When I cut the engine I finally turned to meet her concerned gaze.

Evie put her hand on my knee. "Steve, what the hell happened to your face?"

"Rumble tonight;" I muttered.

She nodded slightly then asked another question. "What's going on with you right now? You look like you saw a ghost."

All my emotions were right there on the surface just waiting for me to let them have their way but I wouldn't. Dally was so stupid! That's what kept running through my head. And again, that damn vision of him lying at our feet dead. Dead! With that goddamn smirk on his face. And Johnny…dammit, why'd Johnny have to die? And what if Pony was really messed up?

I reached across the seat and pulled Evie into my arms and buried my face into her neck and held onto her like my life depended on it. Her arms went around me tight and I melted into them. I could smell her light perfume in her hair and it was so good and sweet and real.

"I…I had nowhere else to go. I just needed to see you;" I spoke nervously and quietly into her hair. I was surprised she could even hear me because I didn't even know if the words were really coming out of my mouth.

"What happened?"

I took a deep breath; "Dally and Johnny…they're gone…they died."

Evie gasped and I could feel her shaking. Or was that me? "Oh my God, Steve, no!"

"Johnny died in the hospital tonight and Dally…that son-of-a-bitch…he robbed a store and got shot by the cops. Fuckin' Dally. Dammit!" I said the words but it still didn't seem real. Not only that but I didn't know why I was so mad at Dally but I was. I just didn't understand how he could let that happen to him.

Evie pulled away from me and kissed me softly on my bruised mouth. "I'm so sorry, baby. I don't even know what to say."

I could feel my eyes burning as I looked at her. I felt the sting of tears as they slid down my face. I didn't make a sound but there were tears.

Evie reached up and brushed her hand across my cheek. "It's okay. Everything will be okay."

She kissed me again and I believed her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Yes, it makes me righteous, yes it makes me whole…yes it makes me mellow down to my soul……**_

Evie was shaking me awake. You know how sometimes when something bad happens and you wake up and feel like it was all a dream? Well, I guess I wasn't asleep long enough because I woke up in a panic. I was shaking and those damn tears started falling again.

She wrapped her arms around me tighter and held me there until I calmed down some. "Steve, we'll get through this."

"They were my friends, Evie. Those two were more family to me than my family." I took a deep breath and shuddered. "How can I get over it?"

"I didn't say you'd get over it. I said you'd get through it and you will. I'll be here. You can come to me;"she said softly.

I sat up and ran my hand through my hair and finally stopped with the friggin crying. I looked over at her and knew what love was. It was Evie. It was those dark eyes that saw right through every bit of bullshit I ever gave her. It was those sweet lips that could kiss away any hurt or fear or loneliness I ever had. It was those arms that were small but so strong to hold me tight to make me feel grounded. It was the way she loved me.

I pulled her to me again and kissed her gently. "Thank you."

Evie smiled. "What are you thanking me for?"

I stared right into her eyes. "For loving this greaser."

XXX

I knew nothing would ever be the same for me and my friends. We'd always feel the loss of our two friends who never got to grow up and become more than what they were then-a hood and a hero. There'd always be that gap, that emptiness. But we did the best we could after they were gone.

Pony turned out to be suffering from exhaustion and was okay in a week or so. He, Darry and Soda got to stay together and Pony didn't get into any trouble for what happened with that Soc. Two-Bit went on being Two-Bit after a little while. Me, I went to school, went to work, hung out with the guys and Evie and just tried to keep myself busy.

It took quite awhile for me to stop seeing that vision of Dally in my head and just remember him the way he used to be before that night. I forgave him, too. I guess I didn't want to think of any of us as being able to feel anything so strongly, especially weakness. It was easier being cool and tough. I guess love can break you sometimes. I think love can make you, though, too.


End file.
